Friday, March 28, 2014: A serious, informed, credible source of footy news...

As any good football blog should, we had planned to write about football today. Not the ASADA, Buddy Franklin's Mercedes type of football, but the actual kickings and markings and other goings on within the confines of that thin white line.

This wasn't just a pipe dream. We had plans, plans that extended well beyond the couch at Smother House. We bought tickets and caught trains and were actually prepared for today's Smother to be a serious, informed, credible source of footy news... only to be sabotaged by a range of unrelated factors that conspired to leave us now crippled and broken, typing with one finger while the hangover just refuses to subside. We have but a few points on last nights game.





7:45 is both too late and too early for Thursday night football.

It's too late because it leaves one with - presumably - ample time to enjoy a refreshing ale of two beforehand. How else is a keen sports fan to pass the 2 hours between work ending and football beginnings if not with a pint and a load of raw dumplings? Yet still too early, because how is one supposed to keep track of time when our weird cousin goes on a rant about how Rupert Betheras would excel in today's game?

The result of all this was your professional columnists stumbling into the MCG half way through the first quarter, only to sit behind some suited potato with a head that, if painted white, could have served the ground as a sightscreen in the summer months. We didn't see much of the game (though we are told is was a messy affair with Richmond prevailing by a couple of goals) and left confused and frustrated by the fact we couldn't partake in Cuddle Cam due to the head in front of us obscuring us from every camera at the venue.

Essentially, the Friday Smother comes with our sincere apologies, and a promise that this experiment in actual journalism shall not be repeated in the near future...


Lenny's Review
In a much needed sign that someone actually reads it, our good Twitter friend Lenny (@lenphil29) has taken to reviewing this blog with a detectives eye for detail and a lawyers eye for technicality. As our editors were all made redundant in a recent efficiency drive, we've decided to publish Lenny's feedback in our new segment - Lenny's Review...

There was a collective moment of glorious ecstasy yesterday when we received this piece of correspondence from Lenny...

"@TheSmother i'm actually in full agreement with this one - the match day fluff is ridiculous. Good blog"

We thought we were there, a blog published both on-time and free of the usual careless errors that have dogged the operation since day one. Until.....

"@TheSmother actually, as always, one nitpick. I'm pretty sure @VFLPark would be offended at "orange and black" - it was always sepia! :)"

So, we apologies to our friends @VFLPark  and the old sepia scoreboard. A Smother without errors, some day, but not today.


In the news...
Teams are here, you Supercoach addicts can stop speculating and get your fix of pretending like Fantasy Footy matters to anyone but you and your presumably smelly friends. Our other weird cousin hasn't stopped shaking since Tuesday.

With the sort of excitement usually reserved for lodging tax returns of cleaning showers, the GAA and AFL have confirmed that the International Rules series will go ahead in 2014. "There will be a tournament or an event in Australia involving our players and involving their players." said GAA President O'Liam O'Neill.

Andrew Demetriou has shown the optimism for which he is so renowned, announcing that Hird and Essendon are now best of friends. "I'm pleased that they resolved it, for Essendon and their supporters" he grumbled.