Monday, June 30, 2014: Terrible EOFY Smother...

Can't write a Smother. My fingers are suffering from frostbite after shivering away in the Great Southern Stand last night. On the bright side, the AFL did seem to get two things right;

1. The complete lack of an audience meant that queues for amenities were short.
2. In 8 degrees, on a Sunday night, Etihad Stadium actually seemed like a good idea.

That's about it though, I am about to call Gill and ask to be compensated for the Carlton fans I was unable to gloat in front of. (We were going to do a Smother about Todd Carney, but we haven't seen a leak like that since ASADA).


The Monday Wrap:
Friday:
Geelong 89 defeated Essendon 80
Saturday:
Hawthorn 116 defeated Gold Coast 63
Richmond 117 defeated St. Kilda 73
Fremantle 88 defeated West Coast 81
Sydney 106 defeated GWS 60
Brisbane 70 defeated North Melbourne 66
Sunday:
Western Bulldogs 91 defeated Melbourne 85
Adelaide 99 defeated Port Adelaide 76
Collingwood 91 defeated Carlton 76

Ladder
Hawthorn - 44
Port Adelaide - 44
Sydney - 44
Sydney - 40
Fremantle - 40
Geelong - 40
Collingwood - 36
North Melbourne - 32
Gold Coast - 32
Adelaide - 28
Essendon - 28
West Coast - 24
Western Bulldogs - 20
Richmond - 16
Carlton - 16
Melbourne - 16
GWS - 16
Brisbane - 16
St. Kilda - 12

In the news...
In the wash-up from last night's sparsely attended Collingwood Carlton game, Mitch Robinson has been handed a two match ban for striking Taylor Adams (if he hadn't, three or four Collingwood supporters sitting behind me would have loved to line up 'Turnover' Taylor). Steven Morris of Richmond and Melbourne's Neville Jetta have both been offered a week. The full MRP report is here.

Friday, June 27, 2014: A Sunshine North Caravan park.

When The Big Cheese came to us in the off-season and offered us an overseas holiday, we were admittedly skeptical. A myriad of possibilities crossed our minds, more on the side of us ending up detained in an Iraqi work camp than sipping martinis on a sunny beach or seeing the Eiffel Tower. When he said that we were going on a performance camp, we relaxed slightly - surely, it being a training experience, this would be fully funded by Smother Inc.... how wrong we were.

Yes, it appears The Big Cheese has embraced the attitude of several AFL clubs - forcing us to fork out for flights to an "optional" training camp. Luckily for us, we could never afford it - and luckily for the AFL players who can, the AFLPA is about to negotiate a new deal that means players will need to vote on whether they are forced to spend their own money on an overseas training camp.

Under the new proposal, a secret ballot could be held, meaning players not being forced to outlay $2500 for their own trip. For us, we'll be spending the off-season in a Sunshine North caravan park.

In the news...
Essendon went to court this morning and some lawyers argued. We don't really understand it, but there's news here.

Al Clarkson is rumoured to close to a return from his back disease, according to his stand-in Brendan Bolton.

Teams are here. Have a good weekend. Go the Pies.

Thursday, June 26, 2014: Dirty laundry...

With the dark clouds of ASADA gathering ominously over Windy Hill or Tullamarine or wherever the Bombers hang out nowadays, Essendon coach Bomber Thompson is making an effort to keep his players spirits high.

"I was strolling around in a pair of jocks this morning because I lost a bet, they were laughing, they were having fun, at me, at my expense" he revealed in his press conference this morning. The bet, which related to the team completing a set play on the weekend, was supposed to result in the coach completing training in his underwear, but as Thompson told the gathered media - "I actually can't train in my jokes because you guys are here".

Indeed they are, and will be for some time to come one suspects. Another Dank whistleblower came forward last night alleging he had forged signatures, while ABC is planning to broadcast tomorrow's Federal Court hearings live - where it's expected the only briefs on show will be briefs of evidence (an original Smother pun which will surely be borrowed by someone in the media tonight). Either way, it appears we are on the eve of what the media folk wanted all along - the ASADA case fought out in open court.

An occasion for dirty laundry to be aired, if ever there was one...

In the news...
The Gold Coast Suns have taken to counting their chickens whilst still in their eggs after their 40 point trouncing of Geelong last week. They've announced that next weeks match with Collingwood should break their attendance record, despite it still being over a week away.

Mick Malthouse, the moustachioed senile fella often seen yelling at media people, has declared that he would hate football - if he wasn't coaching. Malthouse has urged the AFL to do something about congestion around the ball.

And finally, in news that has headline writers everywhere all abuzz. Mitch Honeychurch will BEE playing for the Bulldogs this weekend. Hive not heard a name this good in a while (Stop. Smother ed)...

Wednesday, June 25, 2014: Improving the Foxtel Cup...

It was a grandiose dream. A knockout, FA Cup style competition where all the best state teams compete for a prize lusted after since it's inception a few years back. Teams used to competing in mildly attended suburban grounds would finally get a chance to play in giant empty stadiums, completing the time honoured tradition of climbing over a fence and up a few rows of seating to collect the football.

This years Foxtel Cup Grand Final is being held next month, last nights dominant performance by West Perth ensuring they will be there. The Falcons, reigning WAFL Premiers, held off a meek challenge by Tasmania's Western Storm to win by 74 points at Paterson's Stadium. A win that guarantees them either the $40,000 runners up cheque, or the $100,000 prize donated by someone who clearly doesn't know the value of money.

While East Perth take on Williamstown for the second Grand Final spot, The Smother wonders whether this half-commitment to the concept is the reason it has been so thoroughly ignored by the football public. The Tuesday night slot was clearly designed by TV networks, but it doesn't work. These games should be used as curtain-raisers, obviating the need for Collingwood's ridiculous dance troupe and whatever else they've decided to ruin football with this week.

What would really grab the interest of the football public would be to add AFL sides in to the latter rounds of the cup. The prospect of Carlton losing not only to GWS, but also a Tuesday night tangle with some suburban outfit - it's just too much to bear.

In the news...
Ross Lyon has romantically hosed down rumours of a lovers tiff between himself and Anthony Morabito. "All I know is we've got our arms firmly wrapped around Anthony. "I'll just put them around him and squeeze a little tighter and support him a little bit more" said the Dockers coach.

In other Purple Haze news, ruckman Zac Clarke is in doubt for Sunday's derby with knee soreness, while Matt De Boer is a chance to return via the WAFL.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014: More cameras....

Mark Evans is a dreamer. We'd love to visit the office of the AFL's football operations manager, for one can only assume it is filled with crazy prototypes and schematics for everything from cameras inside the ball to a NAB Challenge match between the Gold Coast Suns and a team of holographic hall-of-famers. That's just the way Evans operates; outside the envelope, and we love it.

Take yesterday for example, when Evans handled with aplomb the revelation that even with goal-line cameras, his review system is an incongruous, frustrating and largely unnecessary inconvenience for all involved - usually offering little if any clarity on the situation and then referring back to the on-field umpire anyway. While some, your humble correspondents included, would consider this a sign that perhaps the project had run its course, Evans isn't that pessimistic. When it first failed, he demanded more cameras. Now that those cameras have failed, he's hinted at even more cameras...

"I think as we see more examples, we'll get a better answer out of whether it's touched before or after the line, whether it was a proper kick" said Evans as he received his own kicking for robbing Jack Ziebell of a goal on Sunday. "But the difficult ones for this system are still going to be whether the ball was touched off the boot or in flight, or whether it feathers the post."

"It would be difficult for us to solved that... unless we had 50 cameras lined up behind the goal....." He concluded, before excitedly waddling back to his office - presumably to look for more cameras.

In the news...
Bulldog Daniel Giansiracusa headlines the list of sanctions from the MRP, his high shot on Jared Polec will see him miss two weeks. Jason Winderlich and Jordan McKenzie have each copped a week.

St. Kilda's first round pick Jack Billings has been named the round 14 NAB Rising Star after an impressive performance against West Coast. "I'm really enjoying my footy at the moment" he read aloud from the AFLPA's What-to-say-when-you-win-the-Rising-Star handbook.

And in terrible news for Kangaroos players name Robbie, Nahas and Tarrant could each miss the rest of the season with injuries. "We have a number of things to consider, and the decision will ultimately be Robbie's to make" said football director Geoff Walsh.

Monday, June 23, 2014: The recession we had to have...

At a point during last week's Smother Holiday, while we hiked around the pristine wilderness of Western Sydney's shopping malls searching for any signs of a Giants fanbase, we realised that we had lost our way. Indeed, while unsuccessfully scouring those merchandise stands filled with red and black Wanderers detritus for any orange or grey, it became clear that one of our favourite stories had also gone missing; camoflagued by ASADA and actual football stories.

We forgot what modern day football was all about. The 70's are gone, those idealistic notions of suburban grounds and affordable supplies are dead and buried. The new millennium gave birth not only to spinning advertising signs and 24 hour football channels, but also to a new kind of game - a game that, while not taking place on the field, can be just as exciting as the real thing - especially if Fremantle are playing.

The grand spectacle that has come to define modern football, as much as anything else, happens in board rooms and at luncheons. It's old, rich men, arguing about money - and it is at the very epicentre of the AFL. Love it or loathe it, the decisions made by these suited marvels have far more impact on the Premiership than Buddy or Gazza - equalisation taxes, cost of living allowances, stadium deals - that is where the flag is won.

It would be remiss of us, therefore, to ignore the weekends most pertinent match-up; Eddie McGuire's from-a-distance slugfest with GWS Chairman Tony Shepherd. Shepherd, who until recently was enlisted by Prime Minister Tony Abbott to suggest all manner of cruel and unusual punishments to deter people from being poor, has embraced a socialist ideal when it comes to his football club. "If we want a vibrant and growing national competition then we must have 18 sustainable clubs, all with an opportunity to be competitive" said Shepherd, in his defence of GWS' draft concessions and academies. Not to be outdone, Eddie clambered aboard his capitalist horse and decreed that the new clubs had spread playing stocks too thin, and that there were now 'too many spuds' playing the game (evidence we saw first hand when Collingwood played the Bulldogs last weekend).

While Shepherd has stopped short of donning some dreadlocks and occupying AFL House, he may embrace another type of politics; when it comes to playing talent - this might be the recession we had to have...

The Monday Wrap
Friday:
Sydney 62 defeated Richmond 51
Saturday:
Port Adelaide 128 defeated Western Bulldogs 56
Hawthorn 115 defeated Collingwood 86
Gold Coast 118 defeated Geelong 78
Fremantle 105 defeated Brisbane 22
Essendon 101 defeated Adelaide 92
Sunday:
GWS 100 defeated Carlton 92
West Coast 103 defeated St. Kilda 70
North Melbourne 107 defeated Melbourne 66

Ladder
Port Adelaide - 44 - 148.51
Hawthorn - 40 - 145.68
Sydney - 40 - 135.37
Fremantle - 36 - 134.22
Geelong - 36 - 106.43
Collingwood - 32 - 113.64
North Melbourne - 32 - 111.07
Gold Coast - 32 - 105.79
Essendon - 28 - 106.24
West Coast - 24 - 112.17
Adelaide - 24 - 103.27
Carlton - 16 - 87.35
Western Bulldogs - 16 - 80.76
GWS Giants - 16 - 78.53
Melbourne - 16 - 76.76
Richmond - 12 - 92.53
Brisbane - 12 - 59.89
St. Kilda - 12 - 59.32

In the news...
After one smashed-in-head too many, Brisbane champion Jonathon Brown has announced his immediate retirement. "It's been a hard pill to swallow even though deep down inside I knew it was the right answer" said Brown, neglecting to mention the appeal of a spot in a forward line that managed 3.4 against Fremantle at the weekend.

Port Adelaide rucking-defender Jackson Trengove has re-signed at Alberton until the end of 2017. At the time of writing he was yet to say that he was 'really enjoying his time at the footy club', however The Smother understands he will read an excerpt from the AFLPA's 'what to say when you've re-signed' handbook shortly.  

No real news on ASADA, but you can read some legal mumbo-jumbo and wild speculation here.

Friday, June 13, 2014: A SADA day I can't remember...

Note: The Smother has the bye next week, we're taking a holiday in order to hopefully address the deficiencies in both quality and quantity of jokes. We'll be back on Monday June 23.

Well, it's happened. The event that every professional journalist has been predicting for 18 months has finally taken place. It's vindication, really, against all the cynics - of which we are definitely one - who might have accused hacks of simply making sh*t up for the last two years. Yes, it took a while, but it's here; Essendon players have finally been handed show-cause letters. Infraction notices? Well, maybe, it really comes down to a whole bunch of things... court cases and lawyers and panels. Don't worry, Damien Barrett will keep you informed.

Perhaps a serious case of World Cup Fever has got me on to mad conspiracy theories, but this whole shenanigan has seemed perfectly suited to media coverage. Constant leaks, explosive cameo characters, long and drawn out periods punctuated by breaking news; they couldn't have it any better without inserting Ricky Nixon in there somewhere.

So perhaps that's why we aren't seeing many stories about what is overtly obvious to any neutral observer: ASADA is shambolic organisation, limping from one mess to the next and hurting a lot of people in the progress. The process is embarrassing for the league, the Government and any notion of professional support.

If this Essendon thing ever ends, perhaps someone should look into that.

In the news...
ASADA news is in every paper everywhere so who cares.

Treacherous midfielder Dale Thomas has revealed he questioned his future while recovering from an ankle injury, despite it clearly not bothering Carlton - who signed him anyway.

Teams are here. We're out for a week! Thanks to both of our loyal readers, we'll be back after the bye.

Thursday, June 12, 2014: not good enough to get a job at New Idea.

Oh, forget it. The whole thing. There's no point even bothering with football when we live in a world that gives oxygen to the likes of Caroline Wilson and whichever other muppets are giving their expert opinion on how the 'crisis' should be handled.

Dane Swan is a good footballer. He went to a fundraiser and, from all accounts, represented himself and the club well. That's all that happened. No one died, no one was even hurt. No one should care.

But that's the problem with this country; the better you get at something, the more hurriedly morons like Wilson pursue you. They try and cut you down, to 'claim your scalp' and go running back to their corporate owners - who no doubt have seedier connections than any of Dane Swans - to try and make them proud. It's ugly, insidious and evil. These animals have no place in our game.

The great thing about the AFL is that it is embraces everyone. Whether you're a poor kid from an outer suburb, or the son of a Toorak millionaire, or from the bush; everyone is welcome. If you've got talent, and you work hard - you can make it. Attempting to censor that, to fix it in post, kills off what makes the game so good. Excluding any group from taking part in the game - especially when you're only doing it to appease a media primed for creating moral panic - is a slippery slope.

The end result of Caroline Wilson's selfish pursuit of minor indiscretions will be a reticence by clubs to take a punt on players with less than perfect upbringings. We'll be denied the joy of Andrew Krakouer and Swan in favour of cookie-cutter private educated flogs who can 'better sell the club to sponsors'.

This is about much more than a fundraiser. It's about saving our game from an army of gossip fiends who seek to exploit the game for a profit - presumably because they're not good enough to get a job at New Idea.

In the news...
Who cares?

Wednesday, June 11, 2014: Pleased for AFL Football

Ross Lyon has never been bothered by the detractors. His eyes present a rather different perspective on the world than that that is consumed by the rest of us. His dour and defensive method of coaching is, to him, a thing of beauty. His St. Kilda exodus was not treachery, but common sense. He's always been a little bizarre.

So when his star pest Hayden Ballantyne avoided suspension for a high bump on Adelaide's Matthew Jaensch, Ross Lyon was never going to be simply "happy with the decision". It's just not his style.

"That's what we coach our players on - if you make the ball your object, you'll be ok. Everyone saw it that way, so I was pleased for Hayden. But more importantly, I'm pleased for AFL football" said Lyon, whilst kicking the ball backwards and ordering his team to flood as quickly as possible.


In the news...
Senile Carlton Coach Mick Malthouse has reminded us of his support for a more respectful rugby-style discourse between players and Umpires. "It's got to be two way and if you build up a two way relationship it's far better than a one way, let's face it" he rambled.

"We'd love it to be zero. It'll never be zero", umpires boss Wayne Campbell has conceded that errors are inherent to umpiring. "It's human beings umpiring a really, really hard game.

And finally - some Smother props to Phil Davis, who looks likely to return this week from a kidney injury that put him in hospital early in the season. Read about it here.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014: Really, really, really vile rubbish...

"Fans are frustrated, players are frustrated, coaches are frustrated" Paul Roos.
"It was the lowest scoring game I can remember since under 9's where there's 18 blokes around the ball" - Paul Seedsman
"It wasn't one that will be on Footy Flashbacks, I wouldn't have thought" - Nathan Buckley

Just a few examples of the many ways in which one can explain a terrible game of football within the confines of their media training. It's lucky we have media training, because otherwise someone might have called a horrifically shite game of football. Perhaps they would have said that it was about as fun as watching Embarrassing Bodies, except there was no plot. It was rubbish, inexcusable rubbish. Two teams trying to play possession football without the talent to execute it. An inexplicable venture to the absolutely depths of boredom and frustrating, an embarrassment to the code. Really, really, vile rubbish.

Well, that's what they might have said... we're not so sure. Despite attending the game, we spent the second half attempting a Sudoku in an abandoned MX we found on the floor. It wasn't great to watch - but still better than what was happening on the ground.


The Tuesday Wrap
Friday:
Geelong 107 defeated Carlton 102
Saturday:
Hawthorn 123 defeated West Coast 79
Port Adelaide 129 defeated St. Kilda 59
Brisbane 95 defeated Western Bulldogs 87
Essendon 81 defeated GWS 66
Sunday:
Sydney 109 defeated Gold Coast 74
Fremantle 90 defeated Adelaide 50
North Melbourne 116 defeated Richmond 88
Monday:
Collingwood 61 defeated Melbourne 28

Ladder
Port Adelaide - 40 - 149.33% - (WWWWW)
Hawthorn - 32 - 148.38% -  (WLLWW)
Sydney - 32 - 140.08% - (WWWWW)
Collingwood - 32 - 122.12% - (WLWWW)
Geelong - 32 - 101.66% - (WLWLW)
Fremantle - 28 - 125.49% - (WLWWW)
North Melbourne - 28 - 112.77% - (LWLWW)
Gold Coast - 28 - 103.12% - (WWWLL)
Essendon - 24 - 106.55% - (WWLWW)
Adelaide - 20 - 101.04% - (LWLWL)
West Coast - 16 - 110.45% - (LWLLL)
Carlton - 16 - 88.14% - (LWWLL)
Richmond - 12 - 94.38% - (LLWLL)
Western Bulldogs - 12 - 82.68% - (LLLLL)
Melbourne - 12 - 76.45% - (WLWLL)
Brisbane - 12 - 62.91% - (LLLWW)
St. Kilda - 12 - 62.13% - (LLLLL)
GWS - 8 - 71.27% - (LLLLL)

In the news...
In some much needed good news for Richmond fans, apparent forward Tyrone Vickery has accepted a two-match ban for striking. Teammate Matt Thomas has accepted a week, while Hayden Ballantyne will go straight to the tribunal. 

Essendon's Joe Daniher has received the round 12 Norwich Rising Star award. Read some excited chatter here. 

Friday, June 6, 2014: Potentially the worst Smother ever...

"It's a late Smother, yes."
"No, it's not very long."
"Jokes? Nah, not really."
"What are you paying us for? You don't pay us, we've been surviving on stale CC's from Costco for two months"
"No, I don't think anyone will read it"

-An excerpt from Alfonzo Smother copping a bollocking from The Big Cheese for today's shite effort at a Smother. 

We're sorry, have a good weekend. See you Tuesday.

In the news....
Popular football blog The Smother has had to issue an apology for a late, and rather awful, edition today. "We got caught up playing Superstar International Cricket, we will ensure this never happens again" said a spokesman.

Teams are here. Professional reporting here.

Thursday, June 5, 2014: Happy Gilsday...

It's finally here... We've got the party whistles and the champagne - some illegal fireworks that Kevin Sheedy had delivered from Canberra - it's GILSDAY. The Demetriou era is over, the league is now firmly in the hands of Gillan McLachlan - who will presumably now go about auditing the prices of food and parking that are, from all reports, the sole cause for any of the leagues problems. If only the chips were cheaper, the games would start at 2:10 again. If the pies were fresher, Essendon wouldn't have been forced into injecting themselves with beef brains and ox blood. If the parking wasn't so expensive, players might actually play in a position... these damn prices.

Of course, Demetriou was never going to go quietly. First he praised himself: "I can't keep going to lunches and having nice things said about me continuously" he said with a smirk that suggested he definitely could, and probably wanted to. He concluded, of course, with a parting shot at the Victorian Government - as if they need it. With Premier Denis Napthine receiving the political equivalent of the full support of the board, Demetriou used his final press conference to urge the Government to put some money into the MCG. Talk about kicking a man while he's down...

Letters...
"Drove from Horsham to Ethidad on Friday to see the Mighty Pies. Drove in under Etihad to park and knock me over with a feather…$30 it cost! $30!! That’s 4 doctor’s visits and change and it’s nowhere near 2025."
Smother subscriber Bryce responds to our financial predictions...
Send your letters to thesmotherafl@gmail.com or via Josh Bootsma's Snapchat...

In the news...
Popular football blog The Smother has issued an apology to both of its loyal readers after failing to produce yesterday's edition. "We tried but time was against it. Unfortunately there weren't any Bootsma jokes that hadn't already been made. It won't happen again" lied Smother correspondent Alfonzo Smotherington.

Whichever Scott brother coaches Norf has lashed Gil McLachlan over Andrew Demetriou's equalisation policy. "I think the big clubs successful negotiated and got what they wanted" he said.

Richmond coach Damien Hardwick has a plan in place for the rest of 2014. "The challenge for us and our playing group is to hang tough, remain united and get some wins on the board" Hardwick easier-said-than-done'd

Tuesday, June 3, 2014: It doesn't matter which way you cook it...

"It doesn't matter which way you cook it", it was an ominous start for Andrew Demetriou - especially given that the subject matter was drugs in sport. "The uncertainty can not be a good thing".

"We do need to have some finality to this issue and it has to be stressful on the players, in particular" continued Demetriou, chiding ASADA for the delays in concluding its report into Essendon, before moving onto chiding himself for the rubbish fixture he cooked up before resigning and leaving poor Gil to clean it up. "There's no doubt there are some issues" he obvious-stated,  "We've lost momentum... Whether we do that again in the future we'll have to wait and see".

Of course, by 'we' - he means everyone else. This is Demetriou's last week in the top job, giving him pause for reflection on his high points, as well as the inevitable regrets that come with such a long tenure in the top job. "It would have been nice to purchase Etihad Stadium sooner, because I think it would have been good for our clubs" he told reporters when asked if he had any regrets. The league is contracted to take over the stadium in 2025 for $30, which is interestingly equal to both the expected weekly profit for many smaller clubs who play games there, and the predicted cost for a pie and chips at the venue in 2025.

On Thursday, or as we're calling it Gilsday, Demetriou walks away from AFL House for the last time, leaving it in the capable hands of Gil McLachlan. From all reports, his first priority is to do something about the exorbitant cost of parking, beer and pies at AFL venues. This we respect, $12 for some chips and a pie at Etihad Stadium on Friday night was preposterous, and it doesn't matter which way you cook it.


In the news...
Steele Sidebottom is embarrased - not by his ridiculous name, but by his high hit on Maverick Weller that will see him miss three weeks. "I just said I was sorry I'm pretty embarrassed by what's happened" he offered sheepishly.

The notion of an annual event is apparently lost on Jack Watts, who told On The Couch that he and his teammates have been "crying out for years" for Monday's Queens Birthday Clash with Collingwood - which happens every year.

Watt's coach, however, us unimpressed by suggestions of 'zones' to tackle congestion in our game. "If we want to keep it as football, we keep it as football. If we want to play a different game then you can call it something else and we'll play a different game" he rambled.

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Monday, June 2, 2014: The David Cloke award for predicting the future...

As Nick Maxwell hobbled off Etihad Stadium after Friday's drubbing of St. Kilda, he could be forgiven a smile. It was he, after all, who had proven his stuff. Not necessarily as a footballer - he was subbed off  in the first quarter with a calf twang - but in his second job, as a media commentator.

As The Smother reported, last week Maxwell joined the chorus of Collingwood folk predicting that Travis Cloke would soon 'tear a game apart'. Buckley predicted the same thing - a week early - while others had gone even earlier. It was Maxwell who saw that Cloke was ready to fire, the oracle who was able to understand that if you're going to predict a big game from a forward - a near 100 point win against a bottom 4 team is a good week to make the call.

But our ultimate oracle prize of the week goes to David Cloke, who in May diagnosed that his sons problems were not his fault - but the result of an under-performing Collingwood midfield. How we laughed, the thought that Pendlebury, Swans and Beam were all, simultaneously, failing to hit Cloke whilst having no issues finding Jarryd Blair or Jamie Elliott. "Probably Collingwood's lack of players to run the ball, with Sinclair out and Marley Williams just coming back. Seedsman not playing"

How he must have grinned when Seedsman hit Cloke laces out at Etihad stadium...


The Monday Wrap
Thursday:
Sydney 148 defeated Geelong 38
Friday:
Collingwood 140 defeated St. Kilda 54
Saturday:
Port Adelaide 95 defeated Melbourne 75
Brisbane 98 defeated Carlton 91
Essendon 104 defeated Richmond 54
Sunday:
Adelaide 109 defeated Gold Coast 77
Fremantle 89 defeated Western Bulldogs 51
Hawthorn 94 defeated GWS 87
North Melbourne 82 defeated West Coast 44

Ladder
Port Adelaide - 36 - 143.95% - (WWWWW)
Hawthorn - 28 - 147.65% -  (WWLLW)
Sydney - 28 - 139.31% - (WWWWW)
Collingwood - 28 - 118.61% - (WWLWW)
Gold Coast - 28 - 107.47% - (WWWWL)
Geelong - 28 - 101.28% - (LWLWL)
Fremantle - 24 - 121.66% - (LWLWW)
North Melbourne - 24 - 110.55% - (WLWLW)
Adelaide - 20 - 105.76% - (WLWLW)
Essendon - 20 - 105.17% - (LWWLW)
West Coast - 16 - 117.86% - (LLWLL)
Carlton - 16 - 87.34% - (WLWWL)
Richmond - 12 - 96.82% - (LLLWL)
Western Bulldogs - 12 - 81.81% - (LLLLL)
Melbourne - 12 - 78.73% - (LWLWL)
St. Kilda - 12 - 64.15% - (LLLLL)
GWS - 8 - 70.55% - (LLLLL)
Brisbane - 8 - 59.23% - (WLLLW)

In the news...
Swans coach John Longmire has rubbished the suggestions by many pundits that has team are enjoying a substantial benefit from their Cost Of Living bonuses, instead declaring that hard-work was the reason for their success. "We believe our blokes work generally pretty hard" said Longmire in a comment that could be interpreted as calling every other team in the league lazy. 

The Match Review Panel findings are in. Steele Sidebottom has been given three weeks for a high hit on Maverick Weller while Jeremy Cameron has been given a week for rough conduct.

After an unconvincing start, Brendan Bolton will remain in charge of Hawthorn for another month. Al Clarkson will not be rushed back from his back complaint.