Wednesday, March 19, 2014: Statistically proven terrible ideas

Essendon's potentially temporary coach Mark "Bomber" Thompson has admitted to some nerves before his return to senior coaching against North Melbourne on Friday night. "I'm a little bit nervous, but excited as well, you just don't know how you're going to handle it - you know you've done it before but every time it confronts you, you just say 'I wonder if I've still got it?" he quivered yesterday, perhaps rightly, given the week he has endured.  

The Kangaroos yesterday added another chapter to a Essendon/North rivalry that has been punctuated by idiosyncratic marketing campaigns. Though it's not quite Kevin Sheedy's famous marshmallow diatribe, the Kangaroos yesterday stoked the fire with a proposal that they should be released from the burden of playing the away teams song at home games "as is the case internationally and with most other codes".

Luckily for Thompson's nerves, this proposal was unceremoniously defenestrated by those in charge. Appearing on SEN, Operations Manager Mark Evans pulled out the big guns, citing a league survey that showed 70% of fans thought it a terrible idea. A statistically proven terrible idea, doomed to die a lonely death alongside Collingwood's recruitment of Jordan Russell. 

(We at The Smother love the idea of statistically proven terrible ideas so much that we'd like to see it extended. These surveys should be weekly, daily even. Evans could have used the polling system to ask fans, for example, whether the league should have Carlton and Port Adelaide on Sunday night, or whether they thought the split round idea was good or terrible. The list goes on.... )  

For Thompson, with his exiled predecessor so committed to staying quiet and not being a distraction that he appeared on a TV show - since quoted in every newspaper - declaring how little of a distraction he would be, Thompson took it upon himself to temper the expectations of his resurgent coaching career. "It might sound easy, but to give the players the confidence and the courage to control what they do out on the ground is a big thing" he said. 

Perhaps that would have been a time to call in Evans and his polling gurus to pose the question 'should Hird have said anything?' No prizes for guessing what we think...


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In the news...
The re-signings continue in Brisbane, with forward Josh Green committing to the Lions for another two years. "Brisbane is home now" said Green. David Hale has also added 12 months to his Hawthorn contract.

Fremantle's ridiculously named Garrick (seriously, Garrick) Ibbotson is poised to re-sign in Purple, reducing the temptation of free-agency. This means Fremantle fans can continue to Barrack for Garrick.

Demon Alex Georgiou has been elevated from their rookie list to replace Mitch Clark. He is a strong chance to play against the Saints this weekend. Plucky, dreadlocked youngster Eli Templeton was promoted to the Saints senior list in place of Lewis Pierce who has back fractures.