If this blog were governed by the AFL, today's edition would be an A-Reserve fully-ticketed laugh out loud event. It's that good, even if we say so ourselves.
With the comedy festival kicking off in Melbourne, it seems everyone in this town has the taste for a good giggle. Even our usually erroneous and scarcely humorous missives have enjoyed a bump in popularity on the back of the event, so much so that on Monday we even engaged in a process called editing. Usually employed by professionals, editing - so far as we've experienced - involved reading something you've already written, deciding it was rubbish and starting over.
In Monday's case, we had prepared a humorous and insightful piece that suggested perhaps the lack of people turning up to AFL games was not as much the fault of the AFL as it was the fault of the people who weren't going. It even featured a joke about Demetriou, even at his most horizontal point, only being able to fill 3-4 seats - which we thought was OK. On further reflection, we decided that it was neither humorous nor insightful and rubbished the whole idea, hastily assembling the piece you probably didn't read on Monday.
Perhaps, if we'd known then what we know now, we wouldn't have been so quick on the backspace. It was faces the hue of radishes that we listened to Andrew Demetriou blame the lack of people attending games not on himself, but instead on the people who didn't go. "There's always been a large incidence of no-shows; I mean people who buy a reserved seat for the whole year might go on average to six games a year, and that's an issue" he told baffled reporters.
And he didn't stop there, blaming "the price of food and beverage, the price of car parking on game day, absolutely, things like ticketing charges" and pretty much everyone in the world who's name isn't Andrew Demetriou. But he does have a solution. "That's all the more reason why we want to own our own stadium, to control those prices. They are a severe imposition on families when you add those things."
Of course, the real sticking point in the AFL taking over the Docklands stadium is the price. Perhaps it been classified an A-Reserve Stadium....?
In the news....
In a debate that occurs with such dependable frequency that one could set their watch to it, the bump is back on the agenda. Sam Newman's diatribe on The Footy Show (which we seem to remember was funny a few years back) has lead to a petition for some kind of Presidential pardon for Nat Fyfe or something. We predict that nothing will happen and we'll do the whole thing again in 2015.
The Bombers have banned defender Court-e-neigh Dempsey indefinitely after he failed to live up to the standards of a club which spent the majority of last year under investigation by the AFL, ASADA and the Crime Commission.
Carlton ruckman Matthew Kreuzer will miss three months with a foot injury, adding to the pain an already undermanned list of talls of Carlton. Could the door be ajar for Cameron Wood? Probably not.
Ok, ok - that's all The Smother we've got for this Friday. Teams are here so go back and do your Supercoach (pro tip: even coming in the top 100 won't get your girlfriend back).
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