We've said before that crisis is contagious. Much like the dreaded lurgy that has crippled the Smother this week, it needs only the slightest foothold from which to insidiously spread throughout the host - leaving us unable to stay awake for more than a couple of hours, or clubs unable to do anything but deny that their season is over already and the coaches position is untenable.
After spending the best part of the last 15 months thoroughly infected, Essendon are proving to be 2014's ultimate crisis carrier. In round one they plunged North Melbourne into a crisis that lasted for days, and last night they plunged Carlton into the season's biggest crisis yet. Carlton's 81 point humbling to the Dons lead to a marathon of highly enjoyable radio talkback, in which irrational Carlton fans swung wildly between demanding Malthouse's head and accusing Essendon of cheating (conveniently ignoring their own club's history of stretching the rules, 1995 anyone?).
So, as much fun as it would be to sit here and dump more dirt on the under siege Blues, The Smother has never been one for joining in on the chorus of crisis lovers who call themselves the AFL media. We don't want to waste your time telling you that Carlton erred massively in recruiting Dale Thomas, that Mick Malthouse and co. clearly thought Carlton were better than they were, that they have no midfield depth and a lack of key position players at both ends. You already know that.
Here at The Smother we value courage, courage like the reporter who asked Mick Malthouse whether last night's demolition was a one-off, knowing full well that Malthouse has made something of a habit of verbally castrating journalists who cross the line. With that kind of courage we're ignoring how much Carlton stink and looking instead at Essendon, a side in ominous form with an ability to paralyse their opponents. They play Fremantle and St. Kilda next, before an enticing ANZAC match against Collingwood that leaves this columnist wondering whether Eddie McGuire has the ability to change the slogan from 'Lest we Forget' to 'can we forget this whole game really, really quickly?'.
If the Pies can't beat North and Richmond, expect the late April crisiscope to be dropped fairly and squarely at the Westpac Centre...
Draft Days...
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The Monday Wrap:
Friday:
Hawthorn 137 defeated Fremantle 79
Saturday:
Western Bulldogs 100 defeated Richmond 98
Sydney 134 defeated Adelaide 71
Gold Coast 114 defeated Brisbane 61
West Coast 83 defeated St. Kilda 58
Geelong 87 defeated Collingwood 76
Sunday:
Greater Western Sydney 79 defeated Melbourne 47
North Melbourne 97 defeated Port Adelaide 90
Essendon 138 defeated Carlton 57
Ladder
West Coast - 12 - (WWW)
Hawthorn - 12 - (WWW)
Geelong - 12 - (WWW)
Essendon - 8 - (WLW)
Port Adelaide - 8 (WWL)
GWS - 8 - (WLW)
Fremantle - 8 - (WWL)
Gold Coast - 8 - (WLW)
St. Kilda - 8 - (WWL)
North Melbourne - 8 - (LWW)
Sydney - 4 - (LLW)
Richmond - 4 - (LWL)
Collingwood - 4 - (LWL)
Western Bulldogs - 4 - (LLW)
Carlton - 0 - (LLL)
Brisbane - 0 - (LLL)
Adelaide - 0 - (LLL)
Melbourne - 0 - (LLL)
In the news...
CARLTON, CARLTON, CARLTON, CARLTON.
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