Thursday 10 April 2014

Thursday, April 10, 2014: Drug-addled crazy talk...


Did you know that camels have wide feet because it allows them to walk on sand more easily? We didn't, but it was one of the results when we, as part of our research for the Thursday Smother, ran an internet search on whether or not sheep can walk on sand. We also discovered the Ovis canadensis nelsoni, or desert bighorn sheep, which has adapted to life in the desert by learning to walk on sand and survive on a diet of cacti.

Unfortunately the desert bighorn is only found in the US and Mexico, and we don't like our chances of getting a herd of sheep through customs, or keeping them alive in the slightly milder climate of Princes Park.

But these are mere hiccups, for I suppose we could just fence off a patch of grassland for some regular sheep and have the sandpit nearby. This approach might actually be more effective, as although we're no farmers ourselves, commonsense suggests a cold-climate sheep will produce more wool than its desert counterpart anyway. And the wool is the whole point of the sheep.

This is all part of a significant redevelopment of the old Optus Oval to better suit Carlton's current purposes. First, we'll develop a sheering shed in the attacking 50; space that was previously reserved for competent tall forwards who never emerged. The sandpit will obviously go in the middle, where a lack of midfield depth means that everything below the feet of Chris Judd and Marc Murphy isn't being used anyway. The sheep themselves will wander aimlessly around the wings and try to avoid any footballs that come their way (which might get them picked above David Ellard).

This dramatic re purposing of the aging stadium will allow Carlton to dramatically cut the costs associated with their core business, potentially allowing them to produce a profit in what will surely be a tumultuous 2014 season.

And while this might sound like the drug-addled crazy talk that only a free blog site would ever give prominence, you only need to read real news like this or this to understand quite how determined Carlton are to sticking their head in the sand and pulling the wool over their eyes.

A project that will require a lot of sand and a lot of wool, so it makes sense to DIY.

In the news...
In a sign that the chairman of Beyond Blue has completely lost his marbles, Jeff Kennett has suggested that Hawthorn relocate their training and admin to Launceston.

In a shock move, the St. Kilda football club are considering relocating to St. Kilda. In a deal with Cricket Victoria, the Saints are considering returning home to Junction Oval.

Finally, Andrew Demetriou has denied he will make an early exit when Gillon McLachlan his successor his named. "I've started rehearsing for the Brownlow" he said, while many supporters gave votes to Karmichael Hunt in the background.

Tomorrow...
We're going on a short Smother holiday so there will be a drastically reduced version of the Friday Smother tomorrow. We'd apologise, but given the way we've gone this week it's probably for the best.






1 comment:

  1. That was actually pretty funny and it took a while for me to figure out the punchline. Head in the sand and wool over the ears, not bad.

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