We nearly changed the name of The Smother. It was the end of round 4 and the numbers were bad, people just weren't reading The Smother like they used to. The theories were plentiful; the writing was bad, for one; the jokes were worse. Our normal lighthearted football commentary had been replaced with hastily assembled rants on things we didn't really understand. It had been a truly bad patch.
As we saw it, we were left with two options: we could apologise, hope to retain the handful of readers who hadn't reported us for spam and grow from their; or we could change our name and hope no one ever remembers that The Smother ever existed. The answer came in the form of a text message from our now despondent corporate owner which simply read: 'The Smother by any other name, would still probably be sh*t'.
We hope that this story might reach the appropriate people at AFL House before they make a similar decision on the controversial 'variable pricing' scheme. "Maybe we're better off not calling it variable ticketing? I think we should just go back to what we had previously termed it, which was reserved seat ticketing" said Andrew Demetriou yesterday. Demetriou's optimism, though always heart-warming, ignores the simple fact that they could call it 'Gary Ablett Ticketing System From Hell' and it still wouldn't make it anything more than an utterly confounding and overly complicated system that no sensible fan will ever understand. It also does little to help the fact that since the system has been brought in, crowds have dropped off.
7 price points, and the ability to switch matches between these depending on demand is an admirable attempt to implement supply and demand into AFL ticketing, but it is necessarily complex. Here at The Smother we advocate a return to simpler times, where the footy is cheap, the pies are cold in the middle and the advertising signs don't spin around. A time when a membership card and a scarf was all you needed to support your team.
In short, convenience. And that, by any other name, would still work pretty well.
In the news....
If you've bought a cheap ticket to the Friday's ANZAC game, perhaps to see Assendon V Kollingwood, be prepared for a long walk home. The AFL are warning against fake and scalped tickets to the Premium Reserved match.
Collingwood defender Marley Williams may be back in a couple of weeks after avoiding jail for his Albany assault.
And finally, renowned mad-man Eddie McGuire has suggested taking the Australia v Ireland International Rules Snorefest to New York for some reason. Little more is expected to be heard on the idea.
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