Thursday, April 24, 2014: Missionary positions...

When the first missionaries traversed the seas to spread the word of God, they were armed with nothing but bibles and the bare necessities for survival. They are still remembered and praised, their names affixed to gloriously adorned chapels and churches. It's scarcely dignified work, and often involves introducing people to a concept that they've not only never heard of, but also one to which they possess a potentially violent disposition.

One suspects that Lance Franklin might have some empathy for these historical couriers of the good word, what with him being sent to a city that famously despises Aussie Rules and everything that goes along with it. To this end, he was fortunate not to have been sent to Western Sydney, the heartland of the Cronulla Riots and rugby and not much else; although at least the roads are a tad easier to navigate.

Buddy's efforts at getting the Victorian sport into New South Wales news should be held in no small regard. Though those of us who follow the game might argue that, on a strictly football based calculation, he was overpaid to such an extent that he now sits just between Victoria's desalination plant and the Myki ticketing system; the marketeers among us understand that goals and marks are not what this is about at all.

Buddy, like St Francis of Assisi before him, is getting paid to be in the news; to make Australian Rules the story of the day as often as possible. Whether that's by kicking bags or crashing cars matters not.

On another continent entirely, St. Kilda has its star players borrowing a tune from hopeful young performers outside the Comedy Festival; literally walking through Wellington handing out flyers. It's an ambitious ploy in an age where mass marketing still holds sway, and seeing as the league is prediction a 20-30% reduction on last years crowd - perhaps it needs a rethinking.

It's no secret that controversy travels faster than good news; perhaps it's time the saints re-signed Steven Milne.

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In the news....
Tex Walker is back in town. The Crows big man will play in the SANFL this weekend, a year after busting his knee.

Relief for the sea of savage Richmond fans who refuse to accept Ty Vickery as their own, with the forward unlikely to be recalled to the seniors this week.

And in great news for those of us sensible enough to support Collingwood, Tom Bellchambers and Brendan Goddard will miss tomorrow's ANZAC day game with ankle and adductor twangs respectively .