Wednesday, March 2, 2014: An attitude that won't stand up in court...

Mick and Dustin. Dustin and Mick. Two men who might just need each other.

The precocious Dustin Martin, famed for single-handed fend-offs that reduce grown men to mere piles of meat and bone, the man is all strength and all talent. More than that, he serves as a living embodiment of the hashtag YOLO generation. Martin lives in the now, the absolute uncompromising present where regrets are archaic and neck tattoos are the epitome of 'sickness', and sickness is not even a bad thing anymore. You get it? He is a bona-fide shave off half your hair, take too many sleeping pills and see what happens YOLO cat, you can't get any more into the moment than that.





And while that's all great, and - ignoring the religious digressions far too controversial for this blog - factually correct - we do only live once, it's an attitude that won't stand up in court when you've neglected some basic adult duties. Duties like registering you car, a folly which brought Martin unstuck and might cost him his license.

Mick Malthouse, famed for authoring 'The Ox Is Slow, But The Earth Is Patient', which has reduced grown men to mere piles of meat and bone, this man is all rage and all strategy. Mick is the yin to Martin's yang, forgoing the simple pleasures now for the sheer joy of victory later. More importantly, Mick doesn't forget, a folly that brought him unstuck when he decided to confront umpire Matt Stevic in the changerooms at the weekend over what he saw as an incorrect free-kick from about 8 months ago.

See, had Martin been there, he could have told Mick to leave trivialities like that behind. He could have told him to focus on more pressing concerns like his complete lack of a forward line and running Jeff Garlett through the basic Auskick drop-punt training. Had Malthouse been with Dustin, he could have injected some his vision into the youngster - control what you can control, Dustin, register your car and pay your taxes.

But, alas, on Friday night when fate brought them to the same place, they were in different rooms....

In the news....
Paddy Ryder has ruled himself out of Essendon's clash with the Blues this weekend due to an ankle twang. He expects to return for round 4 for a few games before his team is dismantled by ASADA.

Nathan Buckley has predicted a big lift from his star midfielder Dane Swan. "You'll see a sharp spike in what 'Swanny' produces this week" he said, apparently oblivious to the controversy that sharps and sudden performance increases can stir.

Geelong's George Burberry could return to face the Pies after recovering from the last time he played the pies. Corey Enright is also likely to play.