The Great Pendlebury...
"Gatsby's wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy's dock....his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him."
Collingwood captain Scott Pendlebury must identify with Jay Gatsby. He's lost his own Daisy, to Carlton of all places, and after his pre-season jaunt to the US with Gary Ablett Jr, he's gone and got himself caught up in his own impossible American dream. "The parties were bigger, the shows were broader, the buildings were higher, the models were looser, and the ban on alcohol had backfired. Making the liquor cheaper. Wall Street was luring the young and ambitious, and I was one of them..." he didn't say, but he was drawn by the experience of the Superbowl, and has set his sights on bringing that great American dream down under.
"After seeing it, I spoke to 'Gaz' over there and said it would be pretty cool if we did this back in Australia" he yankee-doodled, "Even a 4.40pm timeslot where the entertainment at half-time was under lights.... It
created a great buzz and certainly something that opened my eyes over there is how well they did it."
And while anyone with even a passing interest in music will tell you that the vast amount of natural light provided by the afternoon Grand Final was the third biggest issue that confronted Meatloaf in his shambolic performance (the other two being giving him a microphone and booking him at all), we think it's time to get back to basics. The recipe for a great AFL Grand Final - which has worked for thousands of years - is quite simple; put Mark Seymour in the corner and start a game of Little League whilst gouging supporters for their every dollar with prohibitively expensive flat beers, cold pies and multi-million dollar 'healthy choice' sandwiches for those watching their weight (as opposed to their wait - which grows every year as the league sends more and more staff upstairs to massage the feet of corporate executives who don't even care who's playing).
That, Mr. Pendlebury, is the great Australian dream - even if it will never bring Daisy back.
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In other news...
The Eagles started their redemption campaign with a 148-64 win over a group of strangers in Fremantle jumpers.
Collingwood's Quentin Lynch has put his hand up for the 2014 Johnny Rotten medal, "I don't care what other people think" he screamed defiantly when asked about his spot in the side, sticking a safety pin through his ear and giving the finger to 'the man'.
Essendon's Alex Browne has joined his exiled coach James Hird in missing the 2104 season after scans revealed ACL damage.
Meanwhile, the salary cap debate roars on. This time it's the AFLPA suggesting that perhaps their should be a cap on total 'football' spending, including players, coaches and facilities. Carlton is licking it's lips at the proposal as it prepares to sack Mick Malthouse and rehire him as a 'marketing manager'.
Justin Leppitsch has promised to rebuild the Lions without a significant bottoming out. "There's a basic formula for age and experience analysis out there that
can tell you a premiership team's make-up and a finals team's make-up, We're probably a little bit south of that just on numbers", he underestimated.
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