Wednesday, July 16, 2014: They know he's leaving...

Make no mistake, Chris Judd will retire at the end of 2014. The chicken-wing champion will have already confirmed it with the club, who are doubtlessly working on a marketing campaign to drag a throb of disenchanted Carlton fans to the MCG for their final round game against Essendon. If Judd's aging frame allows, it will be his last game. If not, they'll be dusting off a topless Toyota for a lap of honour, it's set.

Mick Malthouse, showing a surprising streak of self-deprecating comedy, suggested last week that Judd - and all players - should retire when there's "something left in the tank". The former Premiership coach, who has this year managed to drag Carlton from 9th to 14th on the table, urged players not to tarnish their reputation by playing on too long. Though Judd never achieved the team success that Carlton envisaged, his reputation as a great is firmly entrenched, just as Malthouse's increasing weirdness has entrenched his value to this blog forevermore.

Perhaps the only challenge left for the club is to come up with an appropriate slogan. We suggest "They know he's leaving".


In the news...
Widely rated as the worst Premiership captain in the history of the game, although we disagree, Nick Maxwell is expected to announce his retirement from the game at 2:30 this afternoon. Maxwell played 208 games for Collingwood.

Fresh from some MCG argy-bargy with a confused pensioner last week, Cameron Ling has become to most sought-after assistant coach in league history. The 33 year old 3-time Premiership star at Geelong is reportedly being pursued by Melbourne for a Kirribilli agreement with Paul Roos, as well as his beloved Cats and North Melbourne, where he has been engaged as leadership consultant this year.

The Bulldogs could welcome back Brownlow Medallist Adam Cooney as well as Ryan Griffen for this weekends clash with Essendon. As Collingwood supporters, we would advise the Dogs not to drop their only fit key defender for the match.