Friday, May 30, 2014: Fear and loathing in front of goal...

Brenton Sanderson has gone gonzo in his attempt to understand the great Australian dream; the kicking of balls between goal posts - rather than outside of them. Of course, for the Crows - of late - this has become a concern. Footballs to the left, to the right, everywhere except those goals. One wonders if they haven't taken a pound of ether and can't even see the goals for all those damn bats.

"The numbers just keep heading downhill if you go out thinking "I don't want to make a mistake - we must take the game on"", grumbled Sanderson, wearing orange tinted glasses and a white bucket hat. "We need to remove the fear of making a mistake because sometimes that anxiety grows and grows."

Of course, going on these sort of trips are not all fear and loathing - there are moments of joy when one can actually put themselves in alternate universes, dream worlds where past sins are expunged and the full support of the board is even more full than usual. "We've had two games now where we've lost by less than a kick. If we win them both we're sitting seventh on the ladder" crowed a buoyant Sanderson, clearly oblivious to the fact that those losses were to Melbourne and Carlton.

Of course, sometimes ignorance is bliss - "there's still a really positive vibe around our footy club", concluded Sanderson.


In the news...
Apparently the Swans weren't the only winners in last nights 100+ point demolition of Geelong, Channel 7 has claimed 'another nightly win' with big ratings and the AFL is crowing after a sub-40k crowd for a top 4 clash. Read the outrageous puff piece on AFL state media here.

The Smother congratulates the AFL on their support the Recognise campaign here. The campaign supports recognition of indigenous people in our constitution, we support it - you can too.

Ok, that's all for The Smother week - Teams are here. Go use that captain loophole on Supercoach, jerks.