Thursday, July 3, 2014: An impromptu and wonderful assessment...

Oh Mick, don't ever change. We here at The Smother love Mick Malthouse that much that we have, on multiple occasions, seriously countenanced the possibility of changing this blog to The Malthouse Daily and featuring only excerpts from his press conferences.

Speaking of which, yesterday was a doozy. After lining up free-agency for it's apparent ability to create a two-tiered EPL style league, he then launched into an impromptu - and rather wonderful - assessment of Carlton's playing stocks: "We've got some players that play with a lot of heart, but perhaps the talent level is not quite there"; on Jarrad Waite - "Jarrad needs to come to grips with what we're trying to do here at Carlton"; on Jeff Garlett - "(He) just isn't kicking enough goals. If you kick enough goals and don't defend, you can probably get away with it, but if you don't do either, you don't play".

As usual, the coaching at Carlton was apparently beyond reproach.


In the news...
Rookie Jack Redpath will play his first game for the Bulldogs this week end, with Brendan McCartney hoping for some "intensity and some contested marking" from the 23 year old. While Veteran Dylan Morris has expected to re-sign at Footscray.

Brisbane assistant coach Murray Davis has implemented new training measures to ensure players can kick out from fullback without stepping beyond the goal square as a response to first-gamer Daniel McStay's mistake on the weekend - "We were practicing kicking-in and I was certainly watching Dan closely" said Davis.

Damien Hardwick has criticised the MRP after his defender Steven Morris was given a week for two separate high hits: "The Tribunal is there for a reason and I don't think that's one of them" grumbled Hardwick.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014: Neither a trend nor a mere amusing spectacle..

On yesterdays Smother - check this out. I need say no more, damn the fireworks. Between Tayla Harris' specky and Abbey Holmes' game last night, it is clear that the best way to attract families to the footy is to immediately double the potential participation market.

Women's footy is neither a trend nor a mere amusing spectacle. This is the future, and if we don't embrace it - the world game will.

In the news...
A Smother Gold Star goes to Demon Jesse Hogan, who was able to re-sign for a team without saying "I'm enjoying my time at the footy club". Read what he did say here.

Mick Malthouse has finally recognised the severity of our recent 'Relegate Carlton to the VFL' campaign, challenging the league on the impacts of free agency. Malthouse has said the new rules create a "two tiered system", sternly perching himself and Carlton on the second of said tiers.

ASADA stuff happened. I haven't read it but you can.

Tuesday, 1 July, 2014: Matchday Experience...

I was there, Eddie. Wrapped in two jackets and under a beanie and a scarf no less, but I was there. We gathered in the furthest reaches of the gargantuan Southern Stand, still close enough to see the thousands of vacant seats on the ground level - all reserved for absent members - yet far enough back to sh*t myself when the fireworks launched, without warning, a few metres from my head. I endured it all: the spectacularly incongruous dancing troupe; the Americanised glory of Kiss Cam; that strange Chemist Warehouse guessing game that no-one beyond level 1 can win. I saw it all.

And you know what, Ed? Throughout it all; the constant bombardment of light and noise and crude attempts to turn an AFL game into some kind of Minor League Baseball Circus, there were moments that I longed to support a simpler team. A team that, though perhaps not as rich or successful, endeavored to put football first. A team like Melbourne or the Dogs.

Because, while you were arranging for explosives to cloak the Southern Stand in smoke and negotiating with dancers, they were hosting the second annual Women's match. Rather than shouting to be heard over painfully loud advertisements, their fans were enjoying watching the best women in the country battle it out. Regardless of what your presumably expensive market research team are telling you, football is not about the matchday experience nor amusing the children. No, what brings people to the football is, believe it or not, the chance to watch some football.

So Ed, if the league should grant you the $200k you've demanded, I - as a member - ask that you put it toward establishing a Collingwood women's team. Next year, we could see Collingwood and another team enter the draft created by Melbourne and the Western Bulldogs, and have a 4 team knockout competition. At the very least, it will put us ahead of a rather obvious curve. At best, it will show that you understand that women are for more than dancing before the men come out and play.

Yours,
The Smother


In the news...
Nathan Buckley has revealed he will send Brent Macaffer to Gary Ablett on Saturday afternoon. "He would be our number one target" threatened Buckley.

The 2014 season will be the last in the AFL for Crows defender Ben Rutten, who announced his retirement today. "It wasn't a tough decision... I'm pretty comfortable with the decision" said Rutten, leaving us to wonder who he was really trying to convince.

David Mundy has eschewed the temptations of a big money free-agency deal, re-signing with the Dockers for three more years. "I'm thankful for them giving me my opportunity and I'm enjoying my time here" said Mundy, proving that the AFLPA new contract handbook is the same in Perth as it is Melbourne.

The tribunal will not sit tonight after the trio of naughty boys issued with suspensions this week have decided not to fight them. Mitch Robinson will miss two, while Neville Jetta and Steven Morris will each miss a week.