August 27, 2014: Smells like cat vomit...

Sometimes the truth is better than any parody could even hope to be. So it was when Adelaide Crows defender Daniel Talia was pulled over by South Australian Police in February.

Talia was clocked at 96km in a 60km hour section of Adelaide's Southern Expressway. But he is a defender by trade, and a crafty one by nature. Appearing in court today, Talia declared that the reason for his leadfoot was a violentally ill pet cat in the backseat, which distracted him from a reduced speed sign.

Despite this unique defence, Talia was still fined $800.

In the news...
Nathan Buckley has issued a vague threat to the Hawks ahead of Friday's night 100+ point thrashing at the MCG: "I would suspect you want to win games of football no matter when you play them" said Buckley, before retiring to a banana lounge.

In news that will concern no-one outside a few in Fantasy Grand Finals, Marc Murphy is still hopeful of playing against Essendon on Sunday.

While Ross Lyon says that his star forward Matthew Pavlich must get through tomorrow's training if he is to play against Port on Saturday.