August 22, 2014: No one does it better...

Where on Earth is Mark Evans? The AFL's resident mad scientist has popped up with increasing regularity in 2014 season with high-tech solutions for everything from a locating the ball, put cameras in everything and even lighting up the goal posts to protect us from the crisis of goals kicked after the siren. Yet, here we are, facing a severe bout of emotional turmoil, and Evans is nowhere to be seen.

The 2014 Brownlow is apparently set to be a farce. The winner will almost certainly be stripped of his prize, in a haze of controversy despite him being suspended twice. Ablett is another chance to win, yet he perhaps also should have been suspended for an errant elbow earlier in the season. It's going to be an emotional battle that might end up in court. Yet, nothing from Evans.

How about if during the count, suspended players are forced to wear a red vest that lights up whenever they receive a vote? Or a convoluted preferences system where their votes are passed on to to a pre-agreed player based on a factional alliances? How about if we had one round where the umpires votes could be subbed for those of a random spectator?

These ideas may sound ridiculous, but ridiculous is Evans' game - and no-one does it better.

In the news...
Collingwood may unleash Alex Fasolo as a full-forward after their plague of injuries has robbed them of a forward line.

George Horlin-Smith has been withdrawn from the Cats clash with the Hawks this weekend, while Shane Savage will miss for the Saints loss to Richmond.

Teams are here for Supercoach Prelims. Up the Pies.