Thursday, June 5, 2014: Happy Gilsday...

It's finally here... We've got the party whistles and the champagne - some illegal fireworks that Kevin Sheedy had delivered from Canberra - it's GILSDAY. The Demetriou era is over, the league is now firmly in the hands of Gillan McLachlan - who will presumably now go about auditing the prices of food and parking that are, from all reports, the sole cause for any of the leagues problems. If only the chips were cheaper, the games would start at 2:10 again. If the pies were fresher, Essendon wouldn't have been forced into injecting themselves with beef brains and ox blood. If the parking wasn't so expensive, players might actually play in a position... these damn prices.

Of course, Demetriou was never going to go quietly. First he praised himself: "I can't keep going to lunches and having nice things said about me continuously" he said with a smirk that suggested he definitely could, and probably wanted to. He concluded, of course, with a parting shot at the Victorian Government - as if they need it. With Premier Denis Napthine receiving the political equivalent of the full support of the board, Demetriou used his final press conference to urge the Government to put some money into the MCG. Talk about kicking a man while he's down...

Letters...
"Drove from Horsham to Ethidad on Friday to see the Mighty Pies. Drove in under Etihad to park and knock me over with a feather…$30 it cost! $30!! That’s 4 doctor’s visits and change and it’s nowhere near 2025."
Smother subscriber Bryce responds to our financial predictions...
Send your letters to thesmotherafl@gmail.com or via Josh Bootsma's Snapchat...

In the news...
Popular football blog The Smother has issued an apology to both of its loyal readers after failing to produce yesterday's edition. "We tried but time was against it. Unfortunately there weren't any Bootsma jokes that hadn't already been made. It won't happen again" lied Smother correspondent Alfonzo Smotherington.

Whichever Scott brother coaches Norf has lashed Gil McLachlan over Andrew Demetriou's equalisation policy. "I think the big clubs successful negotiated and got what they wanted" he said.

Richmond coach Damien Hardwick has a plan in place for the rest of 2014. "The challenge for us and our playing group is to hang tough, remain united and get some wins on the board" Hardwick easier-said-than-done'd